About Me
- Kristi
- The Boy, 2 Muttleys and I have finally realized our dream of living 1 mile from the Lindt Chocolate Factory. Leaving Atlanta (the World of Coke) for Zurich (the World of Chocolate) hasn't come without challenges, incredible fun or giggles. Follow along as I chronicle our adventures as we acclimate to this new Swiss lifestyle.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Swiss Squirrel
In the 11 months I have lived in Switzerland, I have yet to spot a squirrel. I have been told they exist and one person was even kind enough to describe one to me: small little creatures, with big ears and shy. In the States we call that a mouse. The Boy swears he has spotted two - one black and one brown, but until I see one for myself, the Swiss squirrel is the equivalent of Big Foot - folklore and only to be seen after one too many drinks or after a severe blow to the head.
There is a small animal here that does remind me of the squirrel though. It shares many of the same traits:
1. Annoying
2. Everywhere
3. Doesn't move when approached
Friends, may I present to you...THE SLUG:
EEEK! When it rains in the summer, these bad boys are everywhere. Walking on the sidewalk is like navigating a minefield of gelatinous-like turds as they like to come out of their grassy dens to hang around on something concrete (sort of like the teenagers who constantly loiter in the front of the BP). If you do inadvertently step on one, they turn into something that resembles a loogie coughed up by a person with Emphysema...in other words - pretty nasty.
They can get quite large and when they do, they often resemble my dog Pedro's poopy and/or a king sized Tootsie Roll. Their life appears to be rather sad, lonely and short as they are never in pairs and when the sun comes out, they shrivel up like a vampire. Unlike the squirrel, they don't dart into traffic (um...they don't dart ever) and they appear to be a seasonal visitor.
For some unknown reason, my "normal" includes the daily presence of an annoying animal so for that, I couldn't be happier to share the sidewalk with the SLUG. (insert scary Vincent Price Thriller laugh here - and don't ask me why)
There is a small animal here that does remind me of the squirrel though. It shares many of the same traits:
1. Annoying
2. Everywhere
3. Doesn't move when approached
Friends, may I present to you...THE SLUG:
EEEK! When it rains in the summer, these bad boys are everywhere. Walking on the sidewalk is like navigating a minefield of gelatinous-like turds as they like to come out of their grassy dens to hang around on something concrete (sort of like the teenagers who constantly loiter in the front of the BP). If you do inadvertently step on one, they turn into something that resembles a loogie coughed up by a person with Emphysema...in other words - pretty nasty.
They can get quite large and when they do, they often resemble my dog Pedro's poopy and/or a king sized Tootsie Roll. Their life appears to be rather sad, lonely and short as they are never in pairs and when the sun comes out, they shrivel up like a vampire. Unlike the squirrel, they don't dart into traffic (um...they don't dart ever) and they appear to be a seasonal visitor.
For some unknown reason, my "normal" includes the daily presence of an annoying animal so for that, I couldn't be happier to share the sidewalk with the SLUG. (insert scary Vincent Price Thriller laugh here - and don't ask me why)
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3 comments:
Hey, don't pick on the slugs! I got all homesick when I saw one the other day. (Slugs love rainy Seattle.)
We saw a Weinbergschnecke on a stone wall in the vineyards in Graubünden, which made us think of Burgundy, which we really like. We just call them snails or maybe escargots :)
Cristoph, are you telling me that people eat these things? I just ralphed in my mouth. There is a reason why "schneck" rhymes with "blech".
Kathy, I probably wouldn't pick on them so much if they didn't make the world look like it was dotted with gelatinous poo. Actually, I like having an annoying creature around because like you, I was homesick for my squirrels. They are my new squirrel.
These slugs gross me out. And their bodies have two distinct parts to them: the sort of smooth armour-esque head, and the long body which appears to be textured, though I would never dare touch it. Well observed, these are sick. And if people eat them...well, I don't want to be invited over for dinner.
"Hmm, what is this chewy delicacy and wherever did you get it?"
"That would be the turd brown garden slug, picked fresh from the sidewalk this morning before the mom brigade ran over it with their strollers."
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