From A to Z

Hands down the most frequently asked question I receive is "So Kristi, do you miss anything or are you constantly pounding a NYC diner table like Sally did in When Harry Met Sally".  I am not going to lie, being here has been pretty gasmic, but I do miss certain things.  The obvious is my people...and no, I don't own you but you were mine, in my heart and I miss you all terribly.  My family, my friends, my co-workers, my critter sitters, my neighbors, you were my network and sometimes your network is all that is keeping you together.  While you are list worthy, you are not going on the list because you are too obvious, so pipe down and read on.

1. I miss knowing what I am doing. Knowing where to get a haircut or where to score certain spices that the Swiss don't seem to cook with or how to turn the heat down in the apartment, are just a few examples of things that I don't know how to do yet.  It is the mundane and routine things that are not mundane nor routine in a new country. On the flip side, I would likely list the same thing as one of the things I love because there is a certain thrill you get from discovery and learning a completely new way of doing things.  Sometimes being defeated and then going on to triumph really makes you feel Expat-tastic.

2. I miss living in a house.  Apartment living is what you do here unless you are super rich or Roger Federer, who by the way supposedly lives near us.  I wonder if he would mind if I dropped off a bundt cake or  tuna noodle casserole...we are sorta neighbors and that is what neighbors do, right?  I want to stalk, errr, meet him.  We lived in a house for 7 years before moving here so going back to communal living has been a little challenging.  I am not a big fan of having to be considerate of neighbors living above or below.  I miss being lazy and letting the dogs out the back door to do their bidness.  I miss the pride I felt in taking care of a home I owned.  I love our new place but I miss the conveniences and privacy a house afforded me.

3. I miss working.  Before you start judging me and thinking I am the most ungrateful trailing spouse ever, think about work minus, well...the work.  For me it was a place I felt productive, relevant and part of something, all the intangibles.  Vacation is only vacation when you can spend it with others, at least that has been my experience.  When the Boy started working, I kept myself busy but I started having crazy thoughts and muttering REDRUM.  Being by myself was just not an option for me.  I am a social creature and have a need to be part of something  hence the move to start intensive German classes one month early.  I am now a part of something, albeit hard as hell something, but something nonetheless and meeting some interesting (some crazy) people in the process.

4. I miss bacon.  I am being serious...I miss American style, heart destroying, cured pig meat and fat.  I talk about it constantly, I dream about it while I am awake.  I miss the guilt that bacon provided, how it made me promise myself I would work out 8 times in the next two days.  I miss not working out 8 times in 2 days like I promised myself and the guilt that followed.  So anyone thinking of a Christmas gift for the Remicks, one word, two syllables...BA*CON.

When I acknowledged that I missed parts of my old life, at first I felt pangs of failure.  For some reason missing things allowed doubts and negative thinking to creep in. It was when the Boy told me "you too are the reason we are here, not just me" that I started feel ownership of this experience.  For the longest time, I thought it was he who got us here, his talents, his resume, his job, his acronyms... When you examine it more closely though, it was me choosing to leave my job, my home and everything I had built, that also made this happen.  I think once I realized that I played an important part in all this, and continue to be an integral part of this experience, I allowed myself to miss things and love the new things at the same time.  If you are soon to be an Expat, currently are an Expat or just curious because you know me, missing the old but loving the new is normal.  I am sure if some Psychiatrist sat down and tried hard enough, they could come up with the 7 stages of Expat-dom.  If I have any wisdom to share, it would be to allow yourself to experience it all, the good, the bad and the chocolate.