From A to Z

Control, I like to have it. Janet "Jackson if your'e nasty" stole my idea for a song...swear. This whole experience is teaching me I have to trust something I can't see, work hard for something I have no power over and to ultimately just let go. This is not an innate quality that I possess. I feel like I am spinning out of control, a la Lance Armstrong during stage 13 (Holla Lance!)

The good news is, I am not giving up. I chose to do this because I didn't want to be that person who didn't take a risk, who played it safe, who was afraid of some hard work to make a dream happen.

The bad news is, I am still risk aversive, prefer feeling safe and terribly afraid of failure.

A wise man once told me "If you feel like you have no control, come up with ideas...be proactive, don't just sit there and wait for something to happen". That wise man is the Boy. Which by the way, calling my husband the Boy has gone over like a pregnant poll vaulter. I welcome suggestions but I refuse to call him "hubby" or "my man" or "David"...so last year.