About Me
- Kristi
- The Boy, 2 Muttleys and I have finally realized our dream of living 1 mile from the Lindt Chocolate Factory. Leaving Atlanta (the World of Coke) for Zurich (the World of Chocolate) hasn't come without challenges, incredible fun or giggles. Follow along as I chronicle our adventures as we acclimate to this new Swiss lifestyle.
Monday, February 1, 2010
To Fondue or Fon-don't? That is the Question
I love food and I am no stranger to pots of hot, melted cheese. Back in the States I was famous for "Cheesy Beefy". There wasn't a Remick party without a pot of golden, cheesy goodness which consisted of Velveeta (the cheesy), meat (the beefy), a can of Rotel (the vegetables that help you rationalize the copious amounts of fat and sodium you just consumed) and a secret ingredient. When I learned we were moving to the land of cheese, one of my very first thoughts was "ooooh, I get to try real Fondue!".
Much to my chagrin, after consuming my very first cube of bread covered in melted cheese, I wanted to ralph. We had just hiked for an hour and 20 minutes uphill, in the snow which is hard work, like running in sand. Knowing there was a hot pot of cheese kept me going, precisely the same visual I would use if I were to hike Mt. Everest. What I didn't expect was the Kirsch. The Kirsch sounds like a health condition or a Medieval plague that decimated an entire population:
"Doctor, I think I have the Kirsch!"
"What are your symptoms young lady?"
"Well, I have a really bad taste in my mouth and it burns...my stomach lining tingles and I feel like I have a fever, oh and I feel drunk"
"Wow, that sounds bad. When did you notice your symptoms?"
"Well, I was minding my own business, eating a pot of cheese and then out of nowhere the symptoms came"
"Hmmm...well you are either really lactose intolerant, or you in fact have the Kirsch"
"What do I do Doctor?"
"Well, there is only one thing you can do. Eat the eyes of a toad while hopping on your right foot...oh, and stop eating Fondue"
Kirsch is a clear, colorless fruit brandy derived from Morello cherries. It is not sweet and tastes like fire water. I was sad to learn, the hard way, that it is considered the essential ingredient in Swiss fondue. For me, it completely overpowers the cheese, the supposed star of the show. Afterwards you feel like you just went on a bender with Rip Torn and you consider robbing a bank for fun. You are also highly flammable for 24 hours and it is illegal to be within 15 feet of a gas station during that time period.
To ease the mental pain I incurred upon my discovery that fondue tasted like a 21st birthday party, there was only one thing I could do...break out my lone brick of Velveeta and make some American Fondue. The Boy and I feasted like newly minted vampires for what seemed like 3 hours.
(too bad Warhol is dead and stuff, I would totally commission him to paint this photo)
I want to like Swiss fondue, really...I do. I know some restaurants use white wine instead of the Kirsch, but this will require some research on my end beforehand. It will also require the desire to try it one more time. Since fondue is indigenous to Switzerland, I am sure we will come face to face again. Hopefully the third time will be the charm, but if not, at least I will be drunk.
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5 comments:
We are taking you the next time to Kusnacht for some champagne fondue. Lets figure out a night.
My neighbor drinks huge shots of Kirsch after she eats fondue. It's a Swiss thing I guess.
I remember your Cheesy Beefy, which was so Yummy in my Tummy! :)
Christie
Thank you for this post. It's wonderful not to feel alone anymore and also to realize I suffer from the Kirsch. I've eaten fondue 3 times in my life. The first time was great, in NYC, at the http://www.bourgeoispigny.com/. The second time was in Zürich at a Christmas party. I was visiting my future husband for the first time after meeting him in NYC. I felt nauseous after the meal but thought it could have been nerves. The last time I had fondue was New Year's 2008, also in Zürich. It did not go down well. I got the stomach flu the next day and haven't been able to eat melted cheese since, unless it's incorporated in a dish like scrambled eggs or moussaka. The smell of fondue alone makes me want to hurl. I'm also not able to enjoy Raclette. Thankfully I can eat solid cheese again. I've grown to accept there will never be Fun in Fondue for me...
It's not Fon-don't it's Fendant, thats Swiss white whine and you put it in the fondue. The Kirsch is drunken beside or after the Fondue or you put your bread in it before you put it in the Fondue-Chächeli :-)
Your blog is so funny :-)
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