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Kristi
The Boy, 2 Muttleys and I have finally realized our dream of living 1 mile from the Lindt Chocolate Factory. Leaving Atlanta (the World of Coke) for Zurich (the World of Chocolate) hasn't come without challenges, incredible fun or giggles. Follow along as I chronicle our adventures as we acclimate to this new Swiss lifestyle.
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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I Tawt I Taw a Putty Tat

So not too many German words roll off the tongue all cute or sexy. When I learned that New Year's Eve was named "Silvester", I got all excited and started daydreaming about cute cartoon cats and annoying birds named Tweety. I was disappointed to learn that Silvester was not named after a Loony Toons character, rather after Saint Sylvester, a Roman Pope dude from the 4th century who cured people of leprosy. I suppose if someone stopped my appendages from falling off, I would be grateful too, saint him/her, drink loads of alcohol and shoot off a few fireworks...all in that order.

Historically New Years Eve has felt like one big "Amateur Night". You get all decked out regardless of the temperature, drink as if you just lost a million on the stock market, and go out with the expectation that this time, it will be the best night of your life. You do it over and over again with the hope that one of these years, it will actually be the best night of your life. Now I am not going to suggest that this New Years was the best time/night of my life, but it was pretty close to perfect. Here are the highlights:

1. A very traditional Swiss experience in Herisau: Our friends Hans Peter and Stacie generously invited me, the Boy and 3 of our visiting friends to Hans Peters Parent's house the morning of New Years Eve. They fed us Kasekuchen (yummy cheese and onion pie served warm), Veal sausage and Prosecco. After we feasted, we were treated to yodeling farmers with giant bells. Take your mind out of the gutter, I said BELLS. The town's farmers woke up around 3 am, dressed in festive male or female costumes, masks and elaborate wooden handmade hats, and then went door to door throughout town yodeling and ringing their giant bells. It had been raining that morning, so if you look closely you will see their hats were covered with plastic to protect them, sorta like Grandma's favorite couch. Here, take a look:


You may have noticed in this video Hans Peter's Dad going around
to each of the farmers with a mug and straw. That wasn't water my
friends, rather a traditional wine designed to quench their thirsts and
enhance their amazing yodeling.

Speaking of amazing yodeling, check this out...complete with a neighbor
watching from her window:



We then made our way to Herisau's town center to check out the trees.
The trees were farmers dressed like, errrr...trees. They were the "bad
guys" where the yodeling dudes were the "good guys". I have no idea
if the tree guys battled the yodelers later that day. I can only imagine
what that may have looked like...especially since they all had been
drinking since 3 am.

The tree costumes were amazing and composed of actual tree material.
Take a look at this guy:



Suspiciously some of the trees had stuffed, dead animals on their heads...many resembling, dare I say, SQUIRRELS!!!

Anywho, it was a fabulous treat to witness a very Swiss tradition. We left Herisau feeling warm inside, partly due to the Kasekuchen and Prosecco, but mostly due to feeling so welcome in Hans Peters Parent's home.

2. The 80's Tent: People, nothing brings the "merican" out in an "American" quite like 80's music. When we heard the festivities in downtown Zurich included a tent that played nothing but computer generated synthesized music, we were beyond excited. Our group was actually pretty international so I was totally stoked to learn that nothing brings out the "germ" in German and the "aus" in Austrian quite like 80's music. We were dancing fools, especially when "The Kamisar" came on...none of us had a clue the Kamisar was in town, UH OH...

3. The Fireworks: As a rule, I don't drink and photograph. Bad things happen when I take expensive things out while drinking Prosecco. Unfortunately this means I didn't capture the amazing fireworks display on film, but I can tell you this...they lived up to the hype. Watching world class fireworks over the Zurichsee was pretty amazing and it made me all smiley.

Now to the lone low-light of Silvester. I want to preface what I am about to tell you with this: I am not a violent person. I can only think of two situations that would provoke me. The first would be coming face to face with Bin Laden...I would totally bust a cap in his ass. The second would be self defense.

Well, apparently there is a third situation that would provoke me and it happened while standing in line for the bathroom. It finally came to be my turn, nothing was going to stop me from going into that stall...well except a 5'4", 110 pound crazy eyed chick from some country that produces really strong skinny women. She came up to me as I was about to enter the stall and just stared at me all wide crazy eyed, daring me with her crazy eyes to do something about the fact she was about to not only cut me in line for the bathroom, but a hundred other women.

Well, me and the Prosecco were having none of that. I don't quite remember what I said, but we exchanged what I hope were actual words and much to my horror, she somehow managed to get into the coveted bathroom stall first. Was I not clear when I told her it was my turn? Well, apparently not because I don't speak "crazy"...so when she came out I was ready for war. Technically this was self defense, the defense of my and many other women's bladders, right?

I said more things that I don't remember and then the next thing I knew, she punched me. Before I had time to retaliate, crazy eyed girl's friend dragged her off, probably rolling her eyes because it was likely the third or fourth fight she had to break up that evening. I can't imagine what Crazy Eyes is like trying to buy a drink. She probably pays with Numchuks. Thankfully after the punch there were no Tweety birds circling my head that Silvester night.

I went back to the 80's tent with a few scratches and a barely bruised ego. After a few minutes of dancing to some 80's music with fabulous new friends, all was right in the world again.

5 comments:

Jen said...

mmm, i have heard about that cheese and onion pie (there was an article in the december saveur i think) and it has me drooling. i may have to try to replicate it next year. YIKES on the fight. it's a good thing she got dragged away before you could get all hotlanta on her ass.

Kristin said...

Wow, that's pretty freaky. What a psycho chick!

the burnt apple said...

that girl clearly didn't have the cheese and onion pie or she would have been in a much better mood. glad you were able to shake it off and continue enjoying the festivities. wish we could have made it!

Chantal said...

Wow, I've gotten splashed on purpose by old ladies at the pool, but a punch takes the cake.

Unknown said...

I forgot how great the yodelers were on Silvesterklausen. Next time we'll pair you with some back up when you use the ladies room. I bet Grace Jones is free.