About Me
- Kristi
- The Boy, 2 Muttleys and I have finally realized our dream of living 1 mile from the Lindt Chocolate Factory. Leaving Atlanta (the World of Coke) for Zurich (the World of Chocolate) hasn't come without challenges, incredible fun or giggles. Follow along as I chronicle our adventures as we acclimate to this new Swiss lifestyle.
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Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Bat Crap Crazy-Volume 5
Where are all the freakin Squirrels?
For weeks, I couldn't put my finger on it. Something was missing in Switzerland. All the usual suspects crossed my mind: litter, crime, processed cheese, wine in a box...but nope, I knew those things either didn't exist or I half expected them not to. It finally dawned on me one day after a walk with my doggies, there are no freakin squirrels. In the five months we have been here, I haven't seen one rat in cute clothing. In case you didn't know, this is how the squirrel came to be:
God: We really need a cute rat. Otherwise, how will we spread plagues without people catching on?
God's Assistant: Hmmm, good point. How about the Sloth? I know you were thinking of introducing it soon.
God: Nah, I have other plans for the Sloth.
God's Assistant: Oh yeah, what?
God: You'll see...bwawawawa!
God's Assistant: Well, you don't have to get all scary about it. Well, how about giving the existing rat a big, fluffy tail that sorta curls at the end? People get all gooey when animals are fluffy.
God: You are onto something assistant. In fact I am so impressed, I am going to give you a name. How do you like Darwin?
God's Assistant: Meh, its ok.
So what happened to all of the slightly annoying but sorta cute nut-munchers that would rather move towards a moving car than away from it? Did something sinister happen? Were they victim of a mass animal cleansing campaign? I can totally see the ads:
Save your nuts, kill the squirrels
What do squirrels have in common with cleanliness? Nothing, kill em
Squirrels, the non-essential animal and we don't do non-essential here
I even resorted to asking my classmates in German class about this strange phenomenon. "Know it all chick" had an answer...the reason why Switzerland has no squirrels is because they don't have the "right trees". If there is a place on the planet with the "right trees", it is Switzerland.
Needless to say, I left class that day with more questions than answers.
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3 comments:
I have only seen 2 squirrels in almost 4 years in this country. It amazes me that a country with so much green space has no wildlife. Maybe the bell towers scare them all away?
i didn't know rats were so picky about their trees.
What do squirrels have in common with cleanliness? Nothing, kill em
Squirrels, the non-essential animal and we don't do non-essential here
LOL. AWESOME!
...
i have seen chipmunks. maybe there was a squirrel/chipmunk cute contest and the little guys won. as for missing things, how about Baking Soda? and Tom's of Maine toothpaste? and http://www.drbronner.com/ products? and 5 lbs. of anything other than potatoes (ex. flour, sugar, detergent). Oh, but wait. The ONE thing I am immensely grateful does NOT exist here, are gigantic flying cockroaches, aka palmetto / waterbugs.
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